When a couple decides that divorce is the right action, both generally want to get it done as quickly and painlessly as possible. They can take the usual route – each get a family law attorney and go through the courts, which can be far from quick or painless – or they may choose mediation. But a quick and painless mediation depends on several factors.

When does mediation become difficult?

-    When the relationship is so bad the parties won’t even speak to each other or their communication consists primarily of angry outbursts. Resolving issues through mediation requires a certain amount of civil communication and cooperation. The mediator, often your family law attorney, can help keep things on track, but the divorcing parties ultimately make the decisions and they should be willing and able to put their emotions aside to deal with practical matters.

-    One partner absolutely refuses to accept the divorce. When the divorce is not agreed upon, the party in disagreement will often not be willing to discuss the details. And they’re often the party who loses the most, despite the efforts of their family law attorney.

-    One or both spouses are having an affair with or are heavily influenced by someone who is likely to cause emotions to run high and decisions to run amuck. Even though the couple getting the divorce can be reasonable and fair, a family member or new partner sometimes sees only one side of the story. They blame the ‘other’ party and continually try to enforce their views on the party with whom they are associated.

-    When one or the other party is not open to shared custody or other rights regarding the children because they are angry with their spouse or because it is a little inconvenient for them, regardless of what’s good for the kids.

A collaborative divorce is less expensive and more effective than mediation or litigation. Collaborative divorce allows the parties to make their own decisions.

A quick and relatively painless collaborative parting of the ways through a family law attorney depends largely on the parties’ attitude. After all, it is called ‘collaborative’ divorce. If divorcing couples want to make their own decisions about the divorce details, are emotionally mature, still have some respect for each other, and really want what’s best for themselves, each other and their children, it is the best option.

Free Initial Consultation with John Spurgeon, Attorney and CPA.

Families looking for family law representation and related financial understanding in a supportive environment would be wise to engage an experienced family law attorney and CPA.  John H. Spurgeon is a practicing California family law attorney and CPA. He is a member of the Los Angeles Collaborative Family Law Association. For more information, please call John at 626-440-9518 for a complimentary initial consultation.

What is collaborative divorce? In traditional divorce cases, each party has an attorney, make court appearances and have a judge decide their future. Their attorneys are concerned with getting the most they can get for their respective clients; which does not necessarily result in something that’s fair for both parties and the children. Litigation by its nature creates conflict and hard feelings between the parties and other family members.

In collaborative divorce, both parties work together to resolve all the issues and ensure that everyone concerned is treated fairly. Here are some of the ways collaborative divorce can help.

1.    Valuation of assets: Deciding on the value of an asset can be complicated. For example, value is generally determined from the time the couple separated even though divorce could be quite a ways down the road. During that time, the value of a property or business may have changed considerably. A collaborative divorce attorney will take these details into consideration; a divorce court may not.

2.    Spousal support: The courts follow laws and guidelines regarding the rights of each party, but those rights might not reflect what both parties actually need or are capable of providing. Collaborative divorce works towards an equitable solution.

3.    Child support: When assessed by the courts, child support is generally based on average statistics throughout the state – which may not reflect what is needed in your specific situation. Collaborative divorce takes the children’s needs and the family resources into account.

4.    Parenting Plans: Children need both parents, and parents need to come to terms on how to best raise the kids. A litigation oriented divorce attorney tries to get the most he or she can for their client in terms of money and time; which sometimes means maligning the other parent, creating friction between them, or forcing one or the other to make drastic changes that will affect their lives. A collaborative divorce attorney helps work out what it will take for both parties to remain involved as parents in a way that does not cause undue stress for the children. In addition, the collaborative attorney can add child specialists to the collaborative group to help sort out parenting issues. A Specialist can help guide the parties without adding attorney time to the fees.

5.    Costs: Using a collaborative family law attorney can cut the cost of divorce by as much as 50%. The family resources go to the family members, not to court costs and lawyers.

The most positive thing about using a collaborative family law attorney is that the process ensures dignity and respect. Both parties, including their attorneys, agree they will not take things to the courts, that they will be honest and sincere in their dealings with their spouse, and that they will work things out in a way that’s best for all.

As a result, both parties are able to go on with their separate lives while still collaborating and cooperating as needed to make sure their family is not added to the ‘torn apart’ statistics.

Free Initial Consultation with John Spurgeon, Attorney and CPA.

Families looking for family law representation and related financial understanding in a supportive environment would be wise to engage an experienced family law attorney and CPA.  John H. Spurgeon is a practicing California family law attorney and CPA. He is a member of the Los Angeles Collaborative Family Law Association. For more information, please call John at 626-440-9518 for a complimentary initial consultation.

What are the pros and cons of the court system vs. ADR?

The court system is basically adversarial. You’re taking a position against your spouse, and depending on lawyers to fight it out for you. They’ll do whatever they have to to win – including things that may increase hostility.

ADR, on the other hand, enables the two parties to work together personally – with the help of a divorce attorney – to come to an agreement. This holds hostility at bay and can actually improve the relationship. It’s about as pleasant as a divorce can be, and sets you up with a working relationship that will be very beneficial if children are involved.

The court system also tends to be expensive. With lawyers pitted against each other in court, they’ll use whatever resources they have available to win their case. This could mean hiring expensive expert witnesses and so on. The additional expenses dig into the divorcing couple’s assets, and can sometimes even leave them owing money.

Using the ADR process with a divorce attorney who tries to create a cooperative environment it can be far less expensive.

As the court system also tends to be overcrowded, there isn’t time to give attention to detail. Consequently, the outcome may or may not be fair. With ADR, there’s time to deal with things on a more personal level to make sure all the bases are covered.

A truly amicable divorce is a rarity. But a good divorce attorney can help you make the best of a bad situation with ADR.

Free Initial Consultation with John Spurgeon

Families looking for family law representation and related financial understanding in a supportive environment would be wise to engage an experienced family law attorney and CPA.  John H. Spurgeon is a practicing California family law attorney and CPA. He is a member of the Los Angeles Collaborative Family Law Association. For more information, please call John at 626-440-9518 for a complimentary initial consultation.

What kind of things can cause problems?

•    When a couple decides to get divorced, or one spouse announces they would like a divorce, the tendency is for one or the other to immediately move out of the house. In fact, this could compromise the rights to the house for the person who moved out. This doesn’t seem logical, but it is the case nevertheless.

•    Couples may make decisions or offers regarding how property, investments, cash and so on should be divided prior to consulting a divorce attorney and without knowing all the ramifications. Tax laws, property values and so on could leave one party with very little – even though the division looked equitable on the surface.

•    If there is another party involved – another man or woman – the natural tendency is to continue seeing each other or even move in together during divorce proceedings. This can create upset with the other party in the divorce, making it difficult to bring things to resolution. It can also affect property division and child or spousal support, as well as rulings regarding custody and parenting time. Every divorce attorney will advise you not to even date while going through a divorce.

These kinds of things, and many more, are not generally known by someone other than a family law specialist; and they can have disastrous consequences. Seeking the advice of a divorce attorney before discussing the matter with your spouse can help avoid these kinds of mistakes.

If you have decided on a divorce, consulting a divorce attorney prior to speaking to your wife or husband could make the difference between amicable proceedings with a fair outcome for all or a very painful process that goes on forever, creates animosity, and eats up much of your assets in legal fees.

Free Initial Consultation with John Spurgeon

Families looking for family law representation and related financial understanding in a supportive environment would be wise to engage an experienced family law attorney and CPA.  John H. Spurgeon is a practicing California family law attorney and CPA. He is a member of the Los Angeles Collaborative Family Law Association. For more information, please call John at 626-440-9518 for a complimentary initial consultation.

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When couples are getting divorced, their credit rating is the last thing on their mind. But credit standing could be pivotal in their new lives. A good divorce attorney can help ensure your credit stays in tact – giving you one less problem to worry about in an otherwise stressful time.

How does credit become a problem during a divorce?

• One of the parties may have to support two households.
• Attorney fees may not be in the budget.
• Wives who have been homemakers sometimes live on credit until they get a job or while they wait for spousal support to begin.

Each of these factors can put a lot of pressure on finances.

Coming out of the other end of a divorce with a poor credit rating can make it difficult to get a car or new home, and even limit your job choices.

How can choosing the right divorce attorney and getting their help in making appropriate arrangements keep your credit score at an acceptable level while divorce proceedings are underway?

1.    Choose a divorce attorney with reasonable fees. You may have to compare a few attorneys before deciding on one.
2.    See if you can work out a payment arrangement or a monthly retainer with the attorney.
3.    Check with your attorney to see if it is feasible for your husband or wife to pay the attorney fees.
4.    See if you can borrow money from parents, other family members and friends or liquidate assets rather than charging up your credit cards.
5.    Ensure you keep up your loan and credit card payments – even though they may be the furthest thing from your mind.

If you are unfortunate enough to be going through a divorce, make sure you discuss your financial and credit situation with your divorce attorney so he can advise you of your options. A family law specialist will know all aspects of family law and will be able to help you through this difficult time.

Free Initial Consultation with John Spurgeon

Families looking for family law representation and related financial understanding in a supportive environment would be wise to engage an experienced family law attorney and CPA.  John H. Spurgeon is a practicing California family law attorney and CPA. He is a member of the Los Angeles Collaborative Family Law Association. For more information, please call John at 626-440-9518 for a complimentary initial consultation.

Some factors in deterring the amount of alimony payments include:

•    How long the marriage lasted – marriages longer that 10 years could influence  a judge to order alimony payments

•    Age of each spouse – this is a consideration as there may be limited financial or relationship opportunities for older spouses

•    Division of assets – there could be income earning assets such as bonds, stocks and rental property that could influence alimony settlements

•    Current and potential earnings of each spouse – e.g. one spouse could be a non working professional during the marriage with considerable potential to return to work

•    The living standards that occurred during the marriage

•    Any financial burden of child support. Alimony is separate and in addition to any child support.

In California, alimony is more limited than in other states.  The intent is that it is a short term solution to enable the spouse receiving the alimony to “get back on their feet” and become self sufficient. This would allow the spouse receiving the support to get further education or job training so that they can obtain a job.

In certain circumstances, alimony can also be awarded in situations of family abuse or disabilities.

As alimony payments can have terms for many years, it is important to obtain advice from a divorce attorney to represent your interests.  It can be emotionally draining to attempt to negotiate this yourself. If you do engage an attorney, don’t try to negotiate a settlement on the side. When settlements have been agreed or there are court orders, stay in compliance.

You can help your divorce attorney prepare for either a negotiated settlement or litigation in court. Prepare a written brief that includes all details in an organized manner including supporting documents. A court appearance is not a platform to rant about the past—rather it is a place to obtain an equitable division of assets, care of any children and sometimes financial care of the other spouse.

Free Initial Consultation with John Spurgeon

Spouses looking for divorce representation and related financial understanding in a supportive environment would be wise to engage an experienced family law attorney and CPA.  John H. Spurgeon is a practicing California family law attorney and CPA. He is a member of the Los Angeles Collaborative Family Law Association. For more information, please call John at 626-440-9518 for a complimentary initial consultation.

About John Spurgeon & Associates

John Spurgeon & Associates, serving the greater Los Angeles area, family law firm has an extensive experience in the areas of divorce and property division under California law. To speak with Mr. Spurgeon about this or other family law issues, please contact us today at 626-440-9518 for a complimentary confidential consultation.

Parental rights include:

•    Custody of the child
•    Providing a safe environment for the child
•    Supervision of the child
•    Obligation to attend school
•    Visitation with the child
•    Providing financial support
•    Provision of medical/dental care
•    Religion to attend
•    Consent to join the military
•    Consent to marry
•    Legal obligations for actions of the child

Compelling Reason

In the event that the parental rights come before a family court, the individual situation of the family and the child will be taken into account on an individual basis with an overriding concern for the best interest of the child. A family court judge will take into account many factors including the child’s preference, emotional ties with the parents, capacity of the parent(s) to provide food, shelter and medical care in adjudicating what action is in the child’s best interest.

There are a number of grounds to terminate the parental rights of a parent including:

•    Abandonment
•    Incapacity due to alcohol/drug addition
•    Sexual abuse
•    Not providing support
•    Neglect or physical abuse
•    Mentally incompetent to care for the child
•    Not maintaining contact with the child
•    Conviction of a felony
•    Adjudication that it is not in the child’s best interest

Family law courts are primarily concerned with the best interests of the child. They will consider the facts of each individual case and look for clear evidence on which to base a ruling. This can include whether or not the child wants to be with an offending parent.

Free Initial Consultation with John Spurgeon

Families looking for family law representation and related financial understanding in a supportive environment would be wise to engage an experienced family law attorney and CPA.  John H. Spurgeon is a practicing California family law attorney and CPA. He is a member of the Los Angeles Collaborative Family Law Association. For more information, please call John at 626-440-9518 for a complimentary initial consultation.

About John Spurgeon & Associates

John Spurgeon is both a family law attorney and CPA in Pasadena, California serving clients in the San Gabriel Valley and the greater Los Angeles area. John Spurgeon & Associates have the proven knowledge and skill to effectively represent clients when dealing with divorce, child support, child custody or other family law matters. Please call 626-440-9518 for a complimentary initial consultation.

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In an article by the Wall Street Journal, it was noted that “gatekeeping” or interference by the other parent, when the other parent is taking care of the children is generally not in the best interest of the children. According to the article, women and men alike can trigger gatekeeping, which can cause conflict between the parents, dissatisfaction with parenting routines, and ultimately be a disadvantage to their children.  An example is cited, wherein a mother was tempted to interfere when “her husband roughhoused with their sons, and she kept worrying he would drop them accidentally.  After a few moments she acknowledged that her husband knew what he was doing and would not let the boys get hurt.”

In the context of a divorce, “gatekeeping” by one parent can take new heights.  The policy of California is to encourage continuing and frequent contact between the children and both parents.  However, it is not uncommon for the non-custodial parent to raise allegations that the custodial parent is alienating the child against him/her (generally the father) or that the custodial parent is using the child as leverage in order to obtain more favorable property or support orders.  For example, “you are not paying me child support therefore you can’t see your son”.  Or there are other circumstances, where the non custodial parent may seek more time with their children for reasons that do not serve their best interest, e.g., want to reduce their child support.

California courts take these allegations serious and if proven may even hold the other parent in contempt of court (if the custodial parent is violating existing visitation orders) punishable by a monetary fine or jail time, and in the worst of cases a complete change in child custody and award the non-custodial parent full custody of the child.

Divorce is a difficult time for everyone, however if parents communicate with each other, encourage visitation, and try to keep their children’s interest above their own, divorce may be a transitory and fleeting period for everybody.

By: Patricia Rayos, Pasadena Family Law Attorney

How can a divorce attorney help?   A good one doesn’t rush straight to court.  They listen a lot, try to really understand the issues and come to an agreement between the parties.   Litigation might not be the right path for you to take, and your attorney can help you look at other options:  while litigation is based on rights and the law, mediation and particularly collaborative law are based upon the intent of the parties.

Collaborative family law lets the parties tailor the outcome to their individual needs, sometimes going outside of the boundaries of the California Code.  One benefit of this method is that the children see their parents working in cooperation to decide the family’s future, even though they’re not living together anymore.

Most people going through a divorce are experiencing feelings of anger, guilt and depression.  A good divorce attorney will assure them that they’re not alone in how they feel.

Divorce affects the family, the children, a person’s place in society, and usually has a severe effect on the parties’ finances. Having the right attorney can alleviate some of the emotional sting and reduce some of the stress.  On the other hand the wrong kind of legal representation can make an already painful experience significantly worse.
An experienced and sensitive divorce lawyer can analyze the facts of the marriage and help them understand what the legal and practical terms of a divorce would be (financial and otherwise.)  The financial implications of divorce can be severe, not to mention the personal pain it causes. Simply analyzing these facts correctly can sometimes be enough to motivate a couple to find a way to solve their problems and work on saving the marriage.

It’s a well-known fact that a person who gets married a second time without handling any personal problems that might have caused the first marriage to fail, is in for a rough ride. Second marriages have a greater failure rate than first marriages. A good divorce attorney can suggest ways to address these problems, so that you can move on with a clean slate.

Working with a divorce lawyer is different from working with lawyers who specialize in other areas. You’ll be discussing very personal and sometimes highly emotional issues.  You’ll have to deal with finances and the custody and care of your children.  You might have to deal with hostility from your spouse.  Make sure the divorce attorney you select is someone you feel comfortable with – someone you can confide in and trust.

You also need a support network to help you through the divorce.  Ask the attorney to help you put together a team so you can weather this traumatic time.  You need someone you can talk to, and while the attorney can give you legal advice, you should find a counselor or perhaps a priest or a rabbi who can be your sounding board.  Another key part of your support team should be an accountant who can help you make sound financial decisions. Too often in the heat of the moment people make rash decisions that cost them dearly later.

A good divorce attorney has to be much more than just a lawyer.  He or she must help you survive one of the most stressful times of your life.

Free Initial Consultation with John Spurgeon

Families looking for family law representation and related financial understanding in a supportive environment would be wise to engage an experienced family law attorney and CPA.  John H. Spurgeon is a practicing California family law attorney and CPA. He is a member of the Los Angeles Collaborative Family Law Association. For more information, please call John at 626-440-9518 for a complimentary initial consultation.

Image by AP

It’s been all over the news and the tabloid media, Jon from “Jon and Kate + 8″ the popular and now infamous TLC show, was ordered by a Pennsylvania Court to return $180,000 he removed from a joint bank account with his wife Kate.  Kate had made the morning show roundup to denounce Jon and accuse of him of leaving her without funds to pay household bills and support their 8 children.

If Jon and Kate’s divorce case was being heard in California the outcome would be the same.  Once someone is served with the Petition for Dissolution of Marriage and the Summons from their spouse, automatic temporary restraining orders (ATROSs) go in effect.  There are 4 restrictions that if violated can result in criminal charges:

Per Family Code Section 2040:

1.    Neither party can remove children from the marriage out of the state of California.  In some cases out of the county where the children reside.  For example, you want to go visit your parents in another state.  You cannot unilaterally take your children with you, unless you obtain written consent from the other parent.  This might seem overly burdensome to you, but one policy behind this restriction is the prevention of “kidnappings” from one parent.  Once the child is removed from the state of California it may be extremely challenging for a parent to get the child returned back.

2.    A restriction on transferring assets and canceling or changing the beneficiaries of any insurance coverage.  What this means is that even that if you really want to because your spouse is horrible to you…you cannot remove him/her from your health or car insurance coverage if you are the one that was providing it at the time commencement of the divorce.

3.    Now the one that would apply to a Jon and Kate situation.  You are restricted from cashing, borrowing, transferring or concealing any property, this includes separate property as well, e.g., your inheritance or funds you acquired before or after marriage.  So forget the idea of removing funds from the joint account and transferring them to your cousin in New Jersey.  You are also restricted from obtaining any loans if you are going to use community or separate property as collateral.

4.    Changes in non probate transfers are forbidden.  What this means is things like creating trusts, POD (payable on death arrangements at the bank, Totten trusts,etc.

At this point you might be thinking to yourself how am I going to survive if I cannot get funds from my accounts and other assets.  Well, there are exceptions to these ATROS:

a.    Necessities of life.
b.    Payment of attorney fees.

Obviously paying your mortgage and groceries constitute necessities of life.  However case law is conflicting as to what really constitutes necessities of life given the facts of a case.   Now if you buy a corvette that might not be considered a necessity of life (I think a corvette would be nice).  Courts’ also want you to have legal representation so that you have someone that can defend your rights.  Thus you can use community and separate funds to pay your attorney.  This information may be too much to digest, so if you want to read more on what happened to Jon Gosselin, please do.

Free Initial Consultation with John Spurgeon

Families looking for family law representation and related financial understanding in a supportive environment would be wise to engage an experienced family law attorney and CPA.  John H. Spurgeon is a practicing California family law attorney and CPA. He is a member of the Los Angeles Collaborative Family Law Association. For more information, please call John at 626-440-9518 for a complimentary initial consultation.